Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. It allows you to build social connections, helps to regulate your own emotions and promotes helping behaviours.

There are 3 types of empathy:

• Affective empathy involves the ability to understand another person's emotions and respond appropriately.
• Somatic empathy involves having a physical reaction in response to what someone else is experiencing or the ability to feel what another person is feeling.
• Cognitive empathy involves being able to understand another person's mental state and what they might be thinking in response to the situation.

Here are a few things you can do to maximize empathy when you’re talking to a person in need:

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1) Show them that you notice they’re struggling

Acknowledge the other person’s unhappiness, and let them know you want to know more about what they’re going through:

• “Hey, are you OK?”
• “You look like you’re worried about something. What’s going on?”

Then listen to what they have to say without trying to cheer them up, distract them or tell them what to do.

2) Ask them: “Can you help me understand?”

This deliberate phrasing sends the message that you’re not trying to fix their life but that you’re curious and you care about them. For example, if someone complains that they’re feeling overlooked at work, ask:

• “Can you help me understand why you feel like other people are getting more recognition than you?”
• “Can you help me understand how feeling overlooked is affecting how you think about your job?”

3) Share an observation

If it seems appropriate, tell the person something you’ve observed about them. You might say to the person who feels overlooked at work:

• “You light up whenever you talk about how you ended up in this field. Do you still feel that way at work?”

Reminding people about their positive attributes can be helpful when they’re down, but keep your observation short and keep the attention focused on them and their experiences, not on you. Regardless of what you say, let them know you’re firmly on their side and you’re there to listen and support them. Even if you do have advice that might be able to help them, keep it to yourself.

To learn more about how to build and practice empathy, read 5 exercises to help you build empathy.

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Sources

https://ideas.ted.com/4-easy-ways-to-express-empathy-in-your-next-conversation/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-empathy-2795562

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